A legacy (From Penarth Times)

A legacy

MY STORY is of tears of sadness and tears of happiness. Recently, my brother Dean died, very suddenly and unexpectedly. He was still a young man, in the prime of life, and his abrupt death was a terrible blow to the many people whose lives he had touched. With the nature of his passing, there had been no time for anyone to prepare themselves, and the ripples of shock were widely felt.

However, my partner Francesca had been carrying our first child. While all had been expecting news of the happy arrival, we learnt of Dean's tragic death. My grief at this time, coupled with anticipation at becoming a father, led to a roller-coaster ride of wayward and conflicting emotions. It has been impossible to express what I have been feeling in recent days.

Francesca, the rock of my life, went into labour on Wednesday morning, and I had fully expected the birth of our child to have taken place before the funeral, arranged for the following Friday. Dean would have known that the funeral was filling me with dread, but the unborn child must have heard the voice of an angel asking her to wait. Francesca was in labour for 60 hours.

While family and friends gathered for the funeral, I was with Francesca in the hospital. The staff there were aware of the situation, and were incredibly understanding and supportive. I was torn in all directions, wanting to be with the wider family and our friends to remember my beloved brother, but knowing that I wanted to be with Francesca for the birth of our first child.

The time for the funeral came and went. Hundreds of grieving people had gathered, numerous friends standing alongside my family members, offering their last farewells in my stead. Despite my wish to be there, a more urgent demand for my presence was keeping me away.

At 8.05pm our daughter emerged into our lives, into a world of unknown wonders that can sometimes be very cruel, but more often, is kind and loving. It seemed to be a message for me from somewhere beyond life. While one life was so tragically cut short, a new life was given to us.

It reminded me that, although we are mourning our loss, life goes on, There is both tragedy and joy. The world is saying hello to a new soul, while saying goodbye to another soul, and the mystery of it all is overwhelming.

Paul Gosling Maughan Terrace Penarth