After almost a decade’s hiatus, one of Britain’s most venerable (and most salacious) reality shows is back on the airwaves. This time Love Island is presented by Caroline Flack – who’s fast becoming reality show royalty, what with The X Factor presenting duties opposite Olly Murs this year.

The idea is for couples of super beautiful people (all strangers before the series) to compete in a series of racy challenges for a £50,000 prize at the end of the series.

Needless to say sexy hilarity and awkwardness ensues. Here are the top moments from the first show.

1. The ‘coupling up’

Love Island
Second “couple” Danielle and Luis (Joel Anderson/ITV/PA)

The word “superficial” really doesn’t quite cut it with Love Island. The initial “coupling up” round sees the six girls parading in front of the six boys in their luxurious Love Island villa.

The boys then step forward if they fancy the girl in front of them at that moment – but the girl gets to pick which eligible male she wants to “couple” with. Yes, it’s all a little seedy.

2. The humiliation of the ‘subs bench’

Love Island
The third “couple”, Rachel and… hang on! Luis again?! (Joel Anderson/ITV/PA)

After the first two matches went to plan, cheeky Luis saw former Miss England Rachel arrive. He declared his interest by stepping forward, despite having just been picked by Danielle.

Poor Danielle was quickly put on the “subs bench” for a later match-up. In her own words: “I was just like ‘this is absolutely horrendous’.”

3. Luis’s pick ‘em all game plan

Luis's girls
Luis’s girls: Danielle, Rachel, and now Zoe (Joel Anderson/ITV/PA)

But Luis didn’t stop there. When the next arrival, high-fashion model and born again Christian Zoe, lined up poolside, he declared his interest in her too. Poor Rachel followed her erstwhile love rival Danielle to the subs bench.

“It was part of my game plan,” admitted Luis. “To see how many girls I could get.”

4. No one picking poor Lauren

Lauren and Jordan
Eventually she plumped for a reluctant Jordan (Joel Anderson/ITV/PA)

That’s right, not even Luis stepped forward when Lauren entered the fray. “Bit awkward isn’t it?” she asked. We couldn’t agree more Lauren – but at least you got to pick an unwilling lad rather than land on the subs bench.

That was until the next girl, Jess, came along and stole (very keen) Jordan from her.

5. Hannah and Jonathan’s whirlwind romance

Hannahd and Jon
(Joel Anderson/ITV/PA)

By this time we’d all but forgotten about the first pair to couple up – Hannah and Jonathan. But their initial attraction couldn’t have been more bizarrely intense.

“That’s the woman of my dreams, that’s my wife to be,” Jonathan told the boys.

Meanwhile Hannah admitted in the Beach Hut. ”I deffo fancy Jon, he’s gorge, and he’s dead funny, which is my main thing. And he’s got a fit accent.”

6. Jonathan claims to have slept with 300 to 400 women

Jon Clark
How does he get anything else done? (Joel Anderson/ITV/PA)

This nugget came out during the first game of the series, called “Getting Intimate”.

Other revelations included that Jessica has had lip fillers, Luis has slept with six girls in one night, and Jordan… is scared of spiders.

7. The first kiss of the series – on the second night

Jess and Josh
Jess and Josh got intimate on the second night (Joel Anderson/ITV/PA)

Because she won the first game, Jess got to “swap” her partner – jettisoning Jordan and poaching Josh from Lauren.

After Jess admitted she “felt really bad” after the swap, Josh took his chances and leaned in for a cheeky smooch. To which Jess more than reciprocated.

https://twitter.com/sophierosebell1/status/607657559282053120

8. Jonathan and Hannah admit their feelings for each other

Hannah
Hannah thinking about Jonathan looks a little like this (Joel Anderson/ITV/PA)

Apparently they’re in “the same boat” as far as attraction is concerned. They seem very happy, but hang on – they’ve known each other less than two days!

9. Two new Islanders arrive

They’re called John and Tony the Alberti twins, and they’re out to win.

Surely this spells trouble for the other lads, what with eight guys and just six girls out there now. That’s Love Island by numbers that is.

Love Island continues on ITV2 on Monday night at 9pm.