Best Foot Forward..... A tale of dust bunnies and floor fluff

I POPPED for a pedicure at Ener-chi the other day. Whilst it’s certainly not sandal weather yet, it is a time for taking a peek at and prepping for what the year may have in store. I was in danger of stepping into spring, summer and beyond with skin so hard and leathery my feet were indistinguishable from a tough old boot and with nails so thick and snaggly that they could be the gruesome ‘before’ poster pinned up in a Podiatrists waiting room.

My sincere apologies for that less than lovely word picture I’ve painted for you all, but you see my need for action was great.

Nearly an hour later in the capable hands of an Ener-chi consultant, I emerged soaked, buffed, massaged, clipped, polished and wrapped in cling film (I kid you not) and I nearly floated along Windsor Road.

I resolved to maintain this feeling and have spent time every evening since, just before I go to sleep, slathering peppermint foot lotion all over my still neatly painted tootsies. I have felt both virtuous and groomed except for the one night that I then rubbed my eye and got stingy peppermint smeared in it.

That night I mainly felt pain and like I was trying to sleep with my face in a bowl of humbugs, seems the lotion had got near my nose too.

The only remedy would’ve been to get out of bed and wash my hand, which is precisely what the directions on the tube of cream advise. I had disregarded this because applying the cream made my feet a bit wet and sticky and even though my recently scraped feet made me feel like I was floating, I know enough about physics to know that wouldn’t be the case.

Instead my freshly cream-lathered feet would trample across a bedroom carpet that would, in all likelihood, take great delight in sticking stray hairs and threads and possibly a random button to the bottom of my foot. They’d be wedged then, into my arches.

When I reached the bathroom I’d have two options; wash the sole of my foot, in which case I might wash off the cream, undo the good work and possibly have to reapply, with the distinct danger that in doing so I would smear yet more cream in my eye and up my nose and possibly get some in my mouth and who knew where else; or leave the gubbins stuck to my foot, get back into bed and then have to brush it off or option two part B, leave it stuck there. Both options failed to tempt me.

I love to get into clean, crisp bedding and didn’t want my white sheets speckled with floor fluff and dust bunnies. So I sat tight and sniffed up the mint stoically.

I am therefore buffed and groomed and ready to step into 2016, looking forward, thinking of good times to come with good people and smelling ever so slightly minty fresh.