AFTER 10 weeks of keenly contested, sometimes erratic and, occasionally, skilful golf, the 'Autumn Snakes' competition supper has been held at the Glamorganshire Golf Club.
As usual, the 'snakelets,' plus their various substitutes, turned out in good numbers to enjoy Ben Gray’s repast and the copious amounts of liquid anaesthetic supplied by Mike Reilly and his team.
Acknowledging the fine play of the autumn winners, the event also heaps of scorn and derision upon the pair deemed to deserve the 'Wooden Spoon.'
Prior to the presentations, 'Chief Snake' Peter 'Jammy' James, ably abetted by 'Big Al' Hyett brought the house down with an hilarious 'Two Ronnies' sketch which even surpassed the incredibly high standard of entertainment for which the former is renowned.
He announced the winning pair as Peter 'Porky' Edmunds and former club captain Dave Kent. Although many felt that Peter and Dave should have come as Mariachi singers to mark their win, it was grudgingly acknowledged that they deserved their success, having won nine out of 10 matches with equal doses of guile, gamesmanship and great golf. They prevailed on a tense final Sunday to thwart runners-up Tim Edds and Chris Burns, with Paul Wood and Duncan Lendrum finishing third.
At the other end of the table, only one pairing, Phil Cunningham and Maurice Flynn, won just a single game and, on the final Sunday, needed the other four pairings with two wins to falter. This would mean that the stableford scores returned would be critical, and Maurice and Phil set out their stall by easing into the lead with an outstanding nine at the par 5 third! Their win over Jonny Vaughan and Graham Screen put the cat among the pigeons because, instead of a single pairing in the frame, as expected, all five winners of two games were now at the mercy of the 'Chief Snake.' A further complication was that super sub Martyn Gray had set some sort of individual record in losing each of his seven appearances as a substitute, and many felt that he, too, could be in danger!
After some relentless teasing, and a public vote, via 'Clapometer,' 'Jammy' decided on Nigel Swaine and Howard Morgan as the winners. With as much solemnity as the assembled company were by now capable of, Howard and Nigel received the 'Wooden Spoon' from newly-elected club captain, Leon Reece, and, with a furry hat, false moustache and baby's dummy, by 'Jammy!'
The 'Spring Snakes' begins on Sunday, January 12, and, as is usual, the impact of the Six Nations on the fitness of these finely-tuned athletes will be not inconsiderable!