AS I handed the final payment to my builder this week I felt elation.

We’d made it.

Our kitchen was finished.

My wife had other ideas.

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Innocently, I assumed that having bought the matching toaster and kettle there was nothing else to get.

She proposed a trip to Ikea to get the final touches…on a Saturday…with our children.

Dreadful.

Was it as bad as I expected?

In many ways it was worse.

Arms full of candles, candle holders, candle jars, children and takeaway hotdogs, I sat in the car a broken man.

Everyone else was delighted.

My wife just couldn’t believe that they had everything she wanted. (she was especially pleased with a candle dome which under close inspection seems to perform no useful function)

The boys were even happier.

They had laid down in every bed, sat on every sofa, cuddled every teddy and had been bought hotdogs and matching enormous shark cuddly toys.

Now I’m about to go through the same process with our new school building.

Luckily the big decisions have already been made, but I’ve already been asked over the last few weeks what I want in terms of the finishing touches.

Which TV screens for the classrooms?

What desks for the offices?

Which computers for the IT rooms?

I think I’m going to ask for as much advice from other staff as possible.

If you see a bunch of candles as you walk through reception you’ll know I’ve panicked and just gone to Ikea.