'Snakes' celebrate unique golf competition

THE Glamorganshire Golf Club recently held its Spring Snakes supper at a packed clubhouse, with 130 of Peter 'Jammy' James’ 'snakelets' enjoying excellent food, drink and company or beer, banter and bull, depending on the composition of the table!

Jammy had promised a night to remember as he stood down after a memorable three years as 'Chief Snake' and it probably was, except for those hardy souls left at the death, who were scarcely able to remember their own names, much less what had gone before!

After the meal, Jammy rose to his full height and, with his equally vertically-challenged sidekick, 'Big Al' Hyett, entertained once again with another brilliant double act, featuring outrageous one-liners, and fantastic comic timing. Sadly, the fine detail of what was said must remain private in order to protect sensibilities and reputations!

Club captain Leon Reece paid tribute to Jammy’s commitment to the Snakes during his tenure and thanked those who made the competition the success that it is. Leon then assisted the 'Chief Snake' in making the presentations.

As three weeks had been lost to bad weather, several pairings vied with each other for the minor places, but Bill Gill and Bob Edwards remained unbeaten, and were worthy winners of the 'Spring Snakes.' However, due to Bob’s holiday in Majorca, the pair were unable to compete together for the overall winners’ trophy against 'Autumn Snakes’ winners Peter 'Porky' Edmunds and Dave Kent. To make matters worse, Snakes' rules dictate that a substitute cannot be used in the final so, instead of receiving the several shots expected, Bill found himself having to give five shots to Porky and Dave! To his credit, he played magnificently, and an unlikely upset looked possible until Dave regained his composure. Despite Bill going up the 9th one up, the autumn winners started to pull away until the captain, who refereed the match, called a halt on the 15th. Bill had also booked a holiday, and was unable to attend the supper, where he would have been feted by his peers, who had to be content, instead, with howling abuse at Porky, who was the only one of the quartet present on the night.

All five possible wooden spoon pairings were made to suffer by Jammy who brought them forward and, through audience approval, eliminated them one by one until, finally, father and son pairing Colin and Chris Griffiths were afforded the dubious honour. Colin made a fine speech as did Chris, but, given that they then revealed matching 'Spoon' T-shirts, it must be that they are either clairvoyant or had been tipped off! Finally, former winners Nigel Jones and Phil Harris entertained with a musical tribute to Jammy which incorporated the Snakes’ anthem, “Every Sunday I awake….” and a welcome to incoming 'Chief Snake' Dave “Hankey” Hancock. Dave was canvassed for the job by Jammy at a 'secret' meeting in one of Penarth’s finest hostelries, only for it to coincide with a skittles match at the same establishment between teams containing many Snakers! We wish Dave all the very best for the next three years, and are sure that he will maintain the traditions of this unique competition.

M F

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